I coached someone a month or so ago about her daughter. Her issue was that she had been made redundant and wasn’t motivated to find another job or do anything else with her life. At the end of the session my coachee decided that what she wanted to do was to go away and have a different type of conversation with her daughter. The next day when I saw her & asked how she’d got on she told me something weird had happened. She’d left the coaching session and gone home to find her daughter waiting for her… to tell her that she’d found a job she was going to apply for and also that she’d decided she was going to go to university!
A few weeks later I was involved in a group coaching session with someone whose issue was the behaviour of a manager and the impact it was having on the rest of the team. Again this coachee decided to take an action to have a conversation with that person about the situation. And again, before he’d even had a chance to raise the issue, the manager had come to him and said she’d been having personal issues and it was starting to affect her work and that she needed some support.
What was happening here? How was the situation changing without the coachees actually doing anything other than getting some coaching on the issue?
A coincidence? Today it happened again…
A couple of weeks ago, I had a coachee with a team member who had been transferred into her team and whose skills didn’t match the skills required for the role. There were a number of issues with the team member and my coachee was trying to work out what she could do to make the best of the situation. My coachee took an action to speak to another one of the team – to whom the ‘problem team member’ reported – which she did the very next day over lunch. They decided the best plan of action was for the manager to arrange a meeting and start the conversation that was necessary. The meeting was arranged for that afternoon. The first thing the ‘problem team member’ said as she walked into the room was “I’ve got a new job and I start in 4 weeks!”
I’ve spoken to lots of people – coachees and coaches about this and it’s a common phenomenon!
The coachee brings to coaching an issue with another person that they perhaps haven’t been tackling over a period of weeks, months, sometimes years. They take responsibility in the coaching session and start to plan what they’ll do to improve the situation. Then, in some cases before, they’ve even begun to instigate their plan, the other person changes something!
I’m thinking it’s all to do with a change in the energy around the issue and the two people involved – the taking of responsibility to change things; the coachee exploring the issue possibly from the other persons perspective and being more open to understanding it from their point of view; deciding what they want to be different and getting clearer about how they the situation to be and that clarity allowing them to attract that outcome – Law of Attraction.
- Where have you seen this happen?
- How have you experienced it?
- What do you think makes it happen?
I’d love to hear your thoughts… either by leaving a comment here or on twitter @ThePensiveCoach